The State of Confusion

Here’s a translation of excerpts of the State of the Union speech for those who haven’t yet mastered Obamaspeak. The quotes are rough based on scribbled notes, and the translation or occasional commentary follows.

“After one of the most difficult years in our history...”  That’s why even I, the Great One, haven’t been able to deliver on promises.

“I’ve cut several taxes....[looking at GOP side that didn’t applaud] I thought that’d get some applause”  Now that I’ve lost my 60 seat lock, I’ve got to throw you jerks some bones, even though they’re very small potatoes compared with the other tax & spending hikes, and of course I know you’re too stupid to realize that.

“The stimulus bill will create 1 ½ million jobs in the future”  Trust me on this, just like when I promised a maximum 8% unemployment, made a small error of 1.9 trillion in the deficit, promised bipartisanship & inclusion & CNN coverage, etc., etc.,......

“Jobs is the #1 focus – a new bill will give small businesses loans & tax credits...”  I’ll make this sound like it’s been my idea all along so I don’t have to acknowledge I was preoccupied with health care, and that my approach was wrong, and the Republicans were right all along.

[On health care reform] “How long should we wait? I don’t accept second place for the U.S. compared with Europe. I’m not doing this for personal reasons, but because of stories I’ve heard”  You guys need to quit dragging your feet on socialized medicine so that we can be even more socialized than the great medical systems of Europe. After all, equality is more important than quality. I’m really not the narcissist I’m accused of – I just believe that I’m the anointed one who is able to solve the problems of the anecdotal few by strokes of the pen with sure knowledge that I’m doing more good than harm to the system.

“We need to guard against the recklessness that brought down our economy...& need to do more to allow more to buy homes”  I mean, of course, you greedy guys trying to make a profit, not the recklessness of Barney Franks & Chris Dodd in forcing loans to unqualified home buyers that precipitated the housing collapse in the first place, which I’m ignoring by making it easy again to buy homes – I’m the Great One – I don’t need to learn from anyone or anything because my intentions are to help the poor, and that’s all that counts.

“We need safe, new nuclear power plants, and to make tough decisions about opening offshore drilling.”  Here’s another bone for Republicans – not that any lefty would ever pronounce a nuclear power plant safe (that’s the loophole), or that he’d ever do more than pretend to agonize over a drilling decision before deciding not to. And I, the Great One, am so good at deep thinking about a problem before making the decision to go left.

“a $10,000 tax credit to families for 4 yrs of college,....and forgiveness of college loan debts [for various reasons and periods]”  More goodies I can give out to buy votes by spreading wealth.


“The federal government should tighten its belt just as the American households.”  But not right now – after all, a few trillion more of national debt shouldn’t be too bad – we’ll just spread the wealth from our posterity to us – spreading the wealth is good, especially if it benefits me. Basically borrow from our kids & never pay it back.

“We’ll freeze growth in spending in several areas for 3 years – starting next year. I refuse to pass this problem on to another generation of Americans”  I’m throwing you guys another bone to placate you now (I’m echoing your talking point), but will keep on spending like crazy as long as I can, and by next year you’ll either forget my promise or the economy will “demand” another course of action. Never mind the 12 trillion (and rapidly rising) national debt that the next generation will be saddled with.


He blamed the deficits on tax breaks, etc. of the previous 8 years (Bush), not excessive spending. At least that apparently is his rationale for “repealing the Bush tax cuts,” which raises taxes. But of course “repealing tax cuts” is a convenient cover for raising taxes. And his excuse for continuing deficits is that “Bush started it.” That is no excuse for taking it to new extremes. You can’t call what Bush did bad, and then do even more of it without blame. “We can’t spend taxpayer money like Monopoly money.” And then he goes ahead and does so, and promises to keep fighting to do so despite recent election reversals.

“There’s not only a deficit of dollars, but trust in Congress.... we need to end the influence of lobbyists & have openness.” Here we go with more promises of openness, just like his campaign promises of CSPAN coverage. It’s the distrust of the Democrats in Congress who are in power & their shady deals that has won recent elections for the GOP. And he’s got more special interest lobbyists like SEIU in positions around him than ever.

“I appreciate the separation of powers, but...” He tread on extremely thin ice & attacked the Supreme Court decision on election spending by corporations & unions, misrepresenting it to the point that the normally staid Chief Justice mouthed “no, that’s wrong” – reminiscent of the “you lie!” outburst by GOP Congressman Wilson in an earlier speech.

“We need to continue earmark reform.”  ...very slowly, of course, so that we Democrats can continue to take advantage of numerous earmarks we’ve had this past year to continue to buy more political support.

“We can’t wage a continual election and stop the others’ agenda.... and say no to everything – which may be good for politics, but not for the citizens....We can do what keeps poll numbers high, or what is best for America” Yes, you obstructionist Republicans are always just looking out for your political skins, and not for the good of the country or out of principles. And you can only say no, but have no plans of your own [he continues to lie about that – GOP proposals have been offered to him & are available on websites] . Just like Howard Dean said, “the difference between Democrats & Republicans is that we don’t believe children should go to bed hungry at night.” Anyone who opposes the Democratic juggernaut is vilified & delegitimized. After all, the great Obama is the judge of what’s best, and his all-seeing eye knows the hearts and motives of the evil Republicans.

“The Democrats still have the largest majority in decades, and the people still expect them to govern & solve problems.”  After all, with all my vague promises of “change,” and my charisma, I was given a blank check to solve problems any way I see fit, including unprecedented debt, socialization, etc. And when the people clearly say “no!” in many ways, I still have the mandate to continue, because the people are just confused and emotional, and I, the great orator, merely need to explain it better to the unwashed masses. Never mind that there appears to be a disconnect between the change I had in mind, and what they had in mind. They need to listen more to me, rather than me to them.

On security, “We’ve disrupted plots...”  Never mind the underwear bomber, Major Hasan, the CIA officers killed,....

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity.”  Except when it might offend tyrants in Iran or Russia or China, and thereby decrease the chances of wielding my magnificent powers of persuasion, as demonstrated now twice in Copenhagen, and in support of recent Democratic candidates.

“We need to stop the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the military.” I’ll pretend I didn’t see the military brass not stand, applaud or even smile for that line, whereas they did all of that for the Veterans benefits line.

“TV pundits reduce issues to silly sound bites.”  Everything that opposes me is silly. [later to a group of Democrat Congressmen, he suggested they stop watching cable news altogether, and listen to their constituents. Not sure they want to do that after last summer’s town halls, and the recent elections.]

“I never suggested change would be easy, or that I could do it alone.”  I did need all 60 Democrat votes in the Senate, but could have cared less about the bipartisanship I gave lip service to.

Speaking subsequently in the “lion’s den” to a meeting of Republican Congressmen, “I am not an idealog.” Right, “spread the wealth” is not an idealogy. “I’m centric, accused of being Bolshevik.” After all, all you guys are right-wing extremists, and we Democrats are in the center – liberalism and leftism is the norm in my circles – despite recent polls and elections. Furthermore, when I use the absurd term “Bolshevik,” that will throw you guys on defense, and you’ll forget at least momentarily that there may be things between the center and Bolshevism that may be part of a dangerous continuum. “...not because I believe in bigger government – I don’t” – right...that’s just the means to get what I want.

Dennis Prager (speaking to a group of Republican Congressmen): “The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen.”